Hello, folks! Long time no see. The photo above is a glimpse into my mind…very cluttered and chaotic. No, actually it’s my office at work, but it’s fairly representative of life at the moment. Work’s been decently busy, not too slow, not overwhelming, and I am now entering week 8 of studying for the bar exam while working. I’ve been keeping track of a number of different aspects of my progress in an Excel spreadsheet and I was horrified/surprised to see that I’ve been pulling 80-hour weeks for 7 weeks. I’ve got five full weeks remaining, two of which I will be off work. I can’t say I feel prepared or in control whatsoever at the moment, but according to the Kaplan schedule I am ahead of schedule. Studying for a test like this is time consuming but I guess the toughest part is the mental endurance of dealing with feelings like “how will i pass in this limited amount of time?” and then to “I have it all under control, ill be fine,” and back again. I am eagerly awaiting that “i have it all under control and I will pass because I feel like I know what I am doing” feeling, which from what I’ve heard, doesn’t really come around until the week beforehand, if ever.
Saturday I had a horrible headache and realized I hadn’t taken so much as a 3-hour block of free time for myself since Jan 1, so I closed the books and watched some tv. It felt pretty good! Laced with guilt, but good. Being completely consumed with this one thing is very exhausting. It’s hard to focus at work…I have been getting through things as usual, but the nagging “I want to go home and make progress” voice is on repeat in my head all day. It’s going to get a lot, lot worse before it gets better.
To put it lightly, I don’t want to take this darn exam (does anyone?). I understand the need for it, but I’d really just like to get on with my career and devote gobs of time to things that are important (either to me or the people for whom I am working), rather than a standardized test on material that I will mostly forget forever. I plan to have more 80-hour work weeks in my future – but I hope they are for a much better cause!
On top of hoping like hell that I will feel more prepared these next few weeks, I have one other wish…and that’s for SNOW. We had two really great winters here in Cincinnati, but then last winter we didn’t get any snow accumulation at all. I am really hoping this winter is a snowy one again, although so far it’s not looking too promising. Hopeful, I purchased these Sorel Joan of Arctic boots in Hawk (a.k.a. “brown”). I LOVE THEM! They’re so warm.
SO that’s where I am at. Pray for me to be prepared for my exam and to get a couple good snowfalls in the next few weeks. I could really use both!